Life, a journey, an expedition?

Life life life. I dono what am i doing with my life now seriously. No job, no work, no income, no things to do. Its like i'm turning into a bloody pig that just eats, sleeps and shit. Haiz. What's happening to me? What am i turning into? Every morning, i wake up, i keep looking at the ceiling, and i ask, "what am i supposed to do today...?"

And the answer, is nothing. Great rite? I'm not happy. With everything that's going on. I try to put a good face, try to be happy, but i'm hurting inside...Everyday, the surface of my heart keeps bleeding and bleeding. Why must i go through all this? A process of learning? Or what? I've tried to look at the good side, but yet i can't see anything. I just so so so so so feel like giving up. Giving up everything.

"Life is an art that is done without using an eraser."

Nice line, but it sucks. You can't re-do what u've done. No "backspace" button, neither do u have the Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V button. Which is, "copy and paste" function. Its like typing a letter using those old typewriters....And u only have a sheet of paper. Once wrong, gone. The paper is then defiled, with sin, with wrongdoings, with remorse, and regret. So when u "type" on the paper, "type" it right, dun get it wrong, coz u can't undo it. No Ctrl+Z function too.

Haiz....Probably at times, the title and its content clashes rite. Lolx.
Anyway.........

Wanna know what situation i'm in right now?
~~I'm a footballer. I play for MU. Everybody LOVES MU doesn't it? Ok not everybody but quite alot of people. Yes, playing for MU is fun. Not only does it earn you glory, it also gives you privileges from the team itself. One day, i fail to score a goal against Malaysia's team. And the coach got me kicked out from the team. And there i was, out of the team, with nothing, but memories of the team.

After awhile, when MU was against Malaysia again, the coach realized, last time it wasn't my fault. It was the team's fault that i couldn't score the goal. And MU team asked me back to their team. I agreed, giving the fact that i thought i could make it in the team again. But, before MU re-invited me, i had good contact with the team in Germany. And i know, i CAN enter Germany, if i try hard enough. And Germany's team is so much ever-willing to accept me, despite my flaws in the goal against Malaysia and the kick-out-of-team-situation by MU.

So now, i'm in a bloody dilemma. Should i stay in the MU team? Or shud i go join Germany, which could be a whole new world for me...Germany is new, MU is old. Germany is a team of mysteries, MU is a team of memories. So what, do i do....~

Honestly at times i wud just go like WTF. PArdon me but yes, i'm really...on the verge of exploding. I dun understand. Why did God put me in this, or did i go into this myself? I want out, but yet i want in. I believe many people also have dilemmas. Everyday dilemmas. Just like driving, take highway or subway? Highway nid toll, subway got jam. It sucks....

James 1 : 2-6 says
~~[2]Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, [3]because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. [4]Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
[5]If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
[6]But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.~~~

I try to abide this verse. This is one of my favorite verses, which is the verse God gave me when MU asked me out of their team. Probably i'm going thru this shit....To learn? To decide? To be a better man? To be a better person? I don't know....I just hope, this expedition of mine....would be a good one.

P.S = Nearly all of the above, are expressions for things that aren't what it seems. If any of u can decipher it, Good. U can read my thoughts. If u can't, sorry lo. XD

Depth of My Heart

Hi there bloggie once again. Been awhile since i tickled u with my 'banging' of my keyboard. Well, i just have no idea on what the crap to write. Just that, my mind, keeps running nonstop. I don't understand what's happening to me. What's happening in my life, in my studies, in my relationships, in my finance, in my employability.

Studies...To hell be with it, i have nothing to study, nothing to memorize, nothing to do. So darn boring. I just pray i'll pass my exams. Just pass will do. I dun ask for an A, or B, or C....just give me a pass and i'll be happy enough.

Life....So, what the hell am i doing with life? STUpiD stuffs? I wake up 9-11am in the morning, stare at my ceiling, and ask myself this stupid question again and again...."What the hell am i supposed to do today?" U guys love holidays rite? Honestly, it sucks, its boring, its lonely. AND ITS DRIVING ME UP THE WALL!!!

Relationships....Just in general ok. So far, nothing's going on. And somethings got me thinking, do u prefer a pretty girl, a cute girl, a smart girl, a stupid girl, a rich girl, a sweet girl, an ordinary girl, a down-to-earth girl, etc. Thinking and thinking, i rather have a sweet girl, rather than a pretty one, a poor one (expections are lower, and dey dun care abt petty stuff). I know its stupid but well, that's what i want. Why, u may wonder, i think about all this 'crap'? My stupid friend lo, ask me this stupid question. Throw me question somemore, "What does it mean by falling out of love?" Lol....i really dono how answer man....
HAiz.....Relationships aren't always bliss....neither is it always on the rocks. I just want a girl, which is just all rounded, and doesn't keep nagging.
P.S : i know alot girls love to nag. lolx....

Finance....I'm BANKRUPT! ~end of story~ whoever wanna ask me out, aka date me, guy or girl, please pay for food, and petrol money. LOLX.....

Employability....Shud i go Telco? Or got to other stuffs? I prefer telco tho....but how?? My dad sent my CV to his fren dy but no reply yet....haiz...pray ba i get a job...at least i won't be so bored, and i won't be bankrupt. rite rite??? Those that want me out, pray for me laaa....looooool.

Anyway, just wanna take the chance, to apologize to those that I've hurt, directly, indirectly, knowingly, and unknowingly. And well, another post up, another one coming.

LAST WORD..... ANYBODY WANNA GO PLAY WATER WITH ME. I DONO WHY I JUST FEEL LIKE GOING PLAY WATER. ANYONE INTERESTED PLEASE TELL ME. FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE CALL 012-6648499 OR 03-91314272. YOUR COORPERATION AND FAST REPLY IS GREATLY APPRECIATED.
THANK YOU.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Thanks for reading.
Signing off, Josaiya.

Weird Emotions.

Hmmm...Its pretty weird these days. Now i got 4months break, i ought to be happy! But weird. I dun feel happy. I feel sad. Its so lonely being at home. So boring, nothing to do....All i do is Eat, Sleep, Pee, Shit, Play. And nothing more. I miss my friends, i miss my college. Though i hate to study, but yea....i've to admit i miss college. Its just the 2nd week of my hols. WTH. crap....how to endure another...14weeks? T_T TORTURE....

Anyway, today, was weird. I woke up due to several 'reasons' which i won't tell LOL. Dono la...weird la....The atmosphere oso so.....so tempting for me to go for a swim. But nobody la...YER GERAM LAR!!!! WHY I HOLIDAY WHEN EVERYBODY GOT NO HOLIDAY....RAWR!!!! SO SIAN!!! Grrr....I'm just bored bored bored bored bored bored bored!!!! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!! lol...Anybody part time job? That of course...pays well too. xD

Corrupted Food, Unsatisfaction and a Joke.

Hahahaha....Food. Everybody eat food de hor. The only difference is that whether u're satisfied with that food or not. And also, here is to show what happens, if you play with your food. XD


----> At McD

( McD IceCream, Dipped with Chili Sauce. Yummy... xD )

This was went me and my frens went to McD to study. The 'smart' counter fella was cramming everything into my tray. Smart seh. And when i went up the stairs, it toppled. Hahaha...In the end, the icecream ended up being our 'toy' for like 30mins? Lolx.


-----> At BlackCanyon restaurant

Man, i just 'love' this restaurant. This place hor, at Centerpoint hor, IF u have NO PATIENCE, i suggest u not to go. Basket seh. I ordered "Wa Tan Hor" and u wanna see the portion they give me? SO "BIG" MAN....Check it.


( The Red Circle is the portion i got )

Of course, i sure angry la. RM 10 seh. For that? Joker....Go complain lor. Complain to WAITER A, he blur blur, dun understand English. Bengang aku. Call WAITER B, also dun understand English. Wat the hell....Starting to fume dy. Angry lor, call Manager come. MANAGER ALSO DUN UNDERSTAND ENGLISH!!!! ROAR!!!! i think, my little 7yr old sister understand more English. XD

I shoot shoot shoot....then dey gimme new portion. xD
My friend infront me shake head hahahaha....And Gosh, i really prayed for the sanctification of the FOOD....HAHAHAHAHAHA....


( The Portion after complaining. XD VICTORY~~~~~!!! lolx )

A little Conversation post.....

Me : Hey waiter, RM10, like that only?
Waiter A : Yes sir, lidat oni.
Me : U eat can full meh?
Waiter A : Har?
Me : I ask u, u eat like this, can full ah?
Waiter A : Kenot.
Me : Yalor, where can full. So little. Can add more ah?
Waiter A : Wait i call people....
Me : Ok.
Waiter B : Sir anything sir?
Me : RM10, like that only?
Waiter B : Yes sir, lidat oni.
Me : U eat can full meh?
Waiter B : Kenot sir.
Me : YALOR. CANNOT FULL. SO EXPENSIVE. U OK? (bengang dy.)
Waiter B : Yes sir but is lidat oni.
Me : CALL UR MANAGER Here.
Waiter B : Err...ok sir.
~~~~The manager is lady. Waiter A and Waiter B are guys.
Manager : Sir anything?
Me : This food, like that only? RM 10? Like that only? I come last time bigger leh.
Manager : Yes sir lidat oni.
Me : I ask u, u eat this, CAN FULL AH?
Manager : Yes sir, I eat, can full.
Me : ...........................
Manager : Nvm sir, i go giv u more sir.
Me : Haiz. Ok. Tks.

I so damn zhatou with that manager....ZZzzzZZzz.....